So it's been a loooong time since I've written.... Life has flip turned upside down! I finished my marathon in December and am training again for the next one in November but what is really different for those that don't know me, is I moved from Orlando, FL to outside of Pulaski, TN. To the middle of nowhere. We have a Walmart and Home Depot.
That's about it.... and even they are 20 minutes away.
We moved the day after the marathon.
Since then I guess you could say I reinvented myself.
I went from:
Working mom to Stay at home mom
Dropping of Erik to school to Teaching Erik at Home School
Never cooking to Daily cooking
Buying cheese to Making cheese
Buying Produce like a normal person to going to produce auction, buying in bulk then figuring out what to do with it!
... well the list grows if things I do that I didn't do before. I even watch the cooking channels.... and like them!
I don't even recognize myself! I have a donkey. A DONKEY!!!! And six chickens which will soon be laying eggs every morning. I have a garden and a fishing pond. Yup. It's good to be me right now.
So with all these changes has come with encouragements to get back to blogging. My Facebook friends are constantly surprised at what I'm doing now and what I'm doing next. So the action continues... Just a little differently now. Join me on our next journey!
Jenn In Action
I'm Jenn and this blog is about me and my family and how we live our life as we raise our newly adopted Ukrainian son. It's a lot about how my son helps me to train for a marathon and how we deal with the craziness that life throws at us. I hope to use this space to Teach, Inspire and Amuse you a few times a week. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to post comments and follow our next journey.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Ups and Downs
Saturday was a big day! I'm sorry to be reporting a bit late but we have had a roller coaster of emotions around here.
Lets start with Thursday. First let me fill you in if you don't already know, we are moving to Tennessee. This has meant a lot of packing and painting and fixing stuff and cleaning and moving stuff to storage. So due to all these activities my short runs have been a bit non existent. Slap my wrist, I'm bad. oh well. Move on.
So Thursday after work I was so excited to go to the airport to pick up our dear friend from Ukraine, Raya. She is the director from Erik's orphanage and is here in the states visiting kids who were adopted and then participating in a conference on how to help children deal with difficult things in their lives. Raya's life is about helping children and helping them thrive.
Our whole family went to the airport and after a quick errand we went home. She came in on a late flight so we only visited for a short time before heading off to bed. We had big plans the next day.
Early to rise, we opted to keep Erik home from school and we all went to spend the day at Universal! This was a dream come true for Raya as these kinds of places don't exist in Ukraine and can get to be quite pricey when you do find something equivalent. The day was great! The crowds were low and the lines were short and we got to see just about everything we wanted to see and was able to leave the parks by around 4:30. We ran some more errands including picking up race rackets from Track Shack.
After dinner at Pastamore, where Paul was working, we headed home to get to sleep.
Saturday morning at 5:30am my alarm went off and Raya, Erik and I put on our running shoes, got our hydration packs, our MP3 players and ate our oatmeal and we were off to the races.
The Miracle Miles 15K Road Race requires an average pace of a 15 minute/mile. I was pretty nervous after the previous week's awful time. I know there is a fair amount of adrenaline that is added in an actual race and I was counting on it. However, I had Raya with me and she had said she hadn't ran since high school and Ukrainians aren't runners. She was hoping she wouldn't slow me down and I was hoping she wouldn't get hurt.
So we get to the run, can't find parking, asked a cop a question about putting money in the meters and the cops said no one is checking them today. GREAT! We get to the line up, Stretch, set up our music, take some photos and video and BAM off we go!
As we cross the starting line the initial reaction was to jog. We jogged just a few minutes and I remembered last week and I motioned to Raya that I was gonna walk. She nodded and kept jogging. Impressive! But I started to get scared she would give too much too soon. She jogged at the same pace as I walked. We stuck around a 14:30 pace. Erik just kept walking and jogging along side us. As the miles ticked away we had a small group of people behind us and a small group we could see in front of us. We were at the back of the pack but it was okay. I kept looking at Raya...1 mile, still jogging, 2 miles, still jogging, 3 miles still jogging! Just after the 3rd mile she took a little break and walked. By around the 4th mile the volunteers and Road officers were really taking notice of Erik. They told us he was definitely 1st in his age group (there isn;t an age group for 10 year olds though) and that he was the youngest so far... and we didn't see any kids behind us. Volunteers cheered as he ran by, Officers gave him high fives. I watched him run taller, gain confidence and feel proud of himself. Raya went back to jogging, Erik began to cheer on other runners who may have been struggling. It was amazing to experience and we just kept chugging along. As the finish line neared we all began to jog together. I told Erik to go ahead but he said he's stay with me. I told him to finish strong and as he ran through the finish the announcer said "Erik Williams, 10 years old"and the crowd cheered! 2:19:11. 2 seconds later, Raya and I also crossed. We received our medals and had some pictures taken and all of a sudden the kids were lining up for a kids fun run. Erik wanted to do it !?!?!?! I ran to the table and asked if he could join and they said sure! Sadly all the people got in the way and I couldn't see anything but Erik said he fell but then got up and finished! I was so proud of him! We were all proud of us!
Walking back to the car was a bit torturous. Our legs hurt. and hurt bad. We needed to get Raya to the next family who was taking her for a short time but showers were a necessity at this point. We get to the car. Parking Ticket. $22. grrrrrrrrr I did however get clarification that Erik was most definitely the youngest runner to complete the 15k.
Our drive home was followed by showers, reminiscing, giggles and just trying not to move for a little while. Sadly a couple hours later it was time to bring Raya to meet the other family at Downtown Disney. She was sore and was now going to go to the Disney parks for the rest of the day. Poor girl but she loved it and learned she actually loves running! Her parting was so sad.
---------------------------------------------------
I need to interject here and add some factors of the weekend. We have 2 adopted greyhounds and a cat we found in a parking lot. The pets are our family members. We love them, cherish them, miss them when we are apart. Our oldest Greyhound would be 12 on October 30 which is very old for the breed. In recent months she has had some bad day and in recent weeks been really favoring one paw. This has been a reoccurring issue for a couple years and no vet can really say why even after x-rays. Probably just arthritis.
On Friday, however, Isabelle was not only limping around, but she also began yelping when someone came close to touching her as they walked by, or in some cases screaming if she stood wrong or used that leg as her main support. We could not manipulate a scenario to isolate exactly where the pain was and it was heart breaking to know she was in pain and we couldn't fix it. By late Friday night when Paul came home form work, she was screaming quite a bit. Somehow Raya and Erik slept through it. I was up until 2:00 and Paul slept on the floor comforting her all night. Needless to say, we were worried. On Saturday however she seemed to be doing a bit better. I had to leave the house a couple times and when I returned she was still limping but not screaming and she was getting around okay.
Sunday was different during her breakfast feeding she was having a hard time standing. She leaned over Ruthie and rested her nose on Ruthie's back. It was sweet at the time. Then she moved forward and had her entire head on Ruthie's back. I realized she was using Ruthie to support her and Ruthie was happy to be there. When Isabelle walked back to our room to lay down, she almost fell completely over except I caught her. Paul was having to help her get outside to get the bathroom and her other legs stopped being able to support her. While working, Paul came to me and said, "I think it's time". I just sat and cried. He did too. I finished working even though the last 2 hours of my shift I spent trying to pay attention to my trainer and just crying. Paul and Erik laid with Isabelle and tried to keep her comfortable. We anticipated taking her to the vet Monday morning or having a vet come to the house. But around 6:00 Paul came in and said, we are taking her in now.
I was crying. Paul was crying. We knew she wouldn't likely be coming home. There was something very wrong and we knew it. He tongue was starting to turn purple and her skin became very dark and she wouldn't drink and couldn't stand to make herself use the bathroom. The decline was fast and obvious.
I laid in the back of the SUV with her until we got to the Emergency Vet. They took her with her bed and a comforter into the back of the clinic and asked us to go in through the front. The clinic staff was wonderful. They knew we were coming and were compassionate, and kind and tried to help us any way they could. The vet came in after examining Isabelle in the back and told us she would support whatever we wanted to do. If we wanted to run tests, she would support that and if we came in as a family knowing she would not be coming home, she would support Euthanasia as a good humane option. A few minutes later a tech brought in an action plan we could take if we wanted. It was filled with injections and shots and procedures. We just sat crying knowing none of this would do any good, just tell us what happened.... maybe... and we just didn't want her to go through all that. We sobbed to the vet and she understood and agreed with us. We asked her what she thought happened and she stated that she thought it was a stroke or a neuro issue like a brain tumor or tumor on her spine. Without the tests she couldn't know for sure, but in the time she was in the back she had lost stable function of all 4 legs and was wobbling around.
I don't know if you have ever experienced being in the room and holding your pet as they pass over the rainbow bridge, but this is the second time we have had to do this with one of our family members. It is heart wrenching. It is painful. But we could not let her go through it alone or with strangers. We gave Erik the choice if he wanted to be there and explained it to him and he wanted to stay. It was only then that he let his emotions come out. It has been a very difficult several days. The house isn't the same without her. We know Isabelle is in a better place and this was the right thing to do for her, but for us it is heart breaking. We are just taking it one day at a time.
Thank you for reading this today. The second half was difficult to write and I apologize for any typos..
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Trouble in Tween Land- Play by Play
September 14, 2013
I hope today was a rare experience day as I approach the teen mile markers and have past the single digits. I now find myself in the Tweens. In efforts to try to stay positive I will list the good things that happened, but in efforts to be honest I will also list today's downfalls but I definitely am hoping days like today are not what is in store for me from here until December.
My Hal Higdon chart told me I needed to run 12 miles today. After last week's breeze of a long run and since I hadn't done much this week I wanted to push myself to running a half marathon distance today. 13.1 miles. After all, what's another 1.1 mile? Keeping in mind that 12 miles is already a 5 mile jump form last week and 2 miles more than I have ever done before.
Also after watch Spirit of the Marathon on Netflix yesterday (HIGHLY recommended for anyone!) and watching these people of all levels in their training and completing of the Chicago marathon, I was determined I would never have another training where I would leave anything on the table. I would push myself and see what this body can do. Well lets just say my mind wanted to do more than my body wanted to. People will say it's mind over matter... I'm not so sure I believe that after today.
This morning my phone went off at 6:25 with my friend calling to verify our meeting point at 6:30... The problem was I was still in bed. Lights went on, I ran into Erik's room to get him up, thankfully we had our clothes all laid out already. Oatmeal went into the microwave while I tied my shoes and we went out the door... oops, turned around to get all our hydration aids from the freezer and bottles of water. And off we went 15 minutes after that call. We had about a 20 minute drive to our starting point and I definitely think our stretching was a bit rushed as the sun was already coming out and I feared the afternoon heat.
I decided to start off with a slow paced job... about a 13.5/14 pace. I lagged behind my friends and Erik but I just kept my own speed and managed to continue to jog for about 20 minutes which was for more than a mile. This was a great way to start out. I walked for a bit and then alternated running and walking for the first few miles. In the beginning I was suffering some pains in my left ankle but by about mile 5 the pain went away.
Mile 6 is about where I started shutting down mentally. The path I was on wasn't a great one and there was some off roading and while most of it was treed, as the sun came out and started beating down on the sidewalk the sweat began just pouring off me. Erik and I alternated water and gatorade and when I felt myself really dragging I had some energy water to boost me but it didn't work.
Around mile 7 or so my friend hurt his knee and had to go back. Erik and I kept going but at 8.14 miles I found myself back at my car for more water and really didn't want to finish. My friends encouraged me to not try to over do the plan and go 13.1 but to complete the 12 I was actually supposed to do today. So we took a bit of a break and then set out again. Now at 10am it was very hot. I mean VERY HOT. I could have cooked eggs on the sidewalk for the people driving by in their cars looking at us like we were idiots for running in this weather. By now I was NOT running. Not after 8.5 I don't think anyway. AND I was walking at a much slower speed than I should have been. My average pace was slipping away from me. Around mile 10 my right metatarsal (yup I learned something I science) was throbbing.
I never got my second wind that I usually get at some point. Around mile 10 I also noticed I was no longer sweating profusely. Not sure if this was due to dehydration, even though I was drinking a LOT, or maybe I was just not pushing myself to sweating limits. I kept us repeating the same section of path over and over as it was shaded. At times I felt like a vampire trying to avoid those patches where harsh sunlight would beat down on us.
The last couple miles were painful. Everything but my knees (woo hoo) hurt and hurt a lot. Again I wanted to quit. In the back of my head I kept thinking... when I get to 12, I'll get push myself to do that last mile but I couldn't. I was done. My body was rejecting me and I was really hating the start to my day. Whatever the accomplishment, it came as a huge price today. Thankfully I still have 2.5 more months to train but I'm also still not even halfway to the ultimate distance.
Our run ended. I wasn't happy I did it. I wasn't happy I was done. I was really only happy that my legs were not moving anymore. I did a lot of post running stretching, even at home. Meanwhile Erik went and rode his bike. My muscles were really seizing on me and my feet are really sore.
I guess running and training is different for everyone. For me, this just might kill me.
During the end of the run, we taped this... BEWARE, it's not pretty. And I apologize for the shaky footage.
I hope today was a rare experience day as I approach the teen mile markers and have past the single digits. I now find myself in the Tweens. In efforts to try to stay positive I will list the good things that happened, but in efforts to be honest I will also list today's downfalls but I definitely am hoping days like today are not what is in store for me from here until December.
My Hal Higdon chart told me I needed to run 12 miles today. After last week's breeze of a long run and since I hadn't done much this week I wanted to push myself to running a half marathon distance today. 13.1 miles. After all, what's another 1.1 mile? Keeping in mind that 12 miles is already a 5 mile jump form last week and 2 miles more than I have ever done before.
Also after watch Spirit of the Marathon on Netflix yesterday (HIGHLY recommended for anyone!) and watching these people of all levels in their training and completing of the Chicago marathon, I was determined I would never have another training where I would leave anything on the table. I would push myself and see what this body can do. Well lets just say my mind wanted to do more than my body wanted to. People will say it's mind over matter... I'm not so sure I believe that after today.
This morning my phone went off at 6:25 with my friend calling to verify our meeting point at 6:30... The problem was I was still in bed. Lights went on, I ran into Erik's room to get him up, thankfully we had our clothes all laid out already. Oatmeal went into the microwave while I tied my shoes and we went out the door... oops, turned around to get all our hydration aids from the freezer and bottles of water. And off we went 15 minutes after that call. We had about a 20 minute drive to our starting point and I definitely think our stretching was a bit rushed as the sun was already coming out and I feared the afternoon heat.
I decided to start off with a slow paced job... about a 13.5/14 pace. I lagged behind my friends and Erik but I just kept my own speed and managed to continue to jog for about 20 minutes which was for more than a mile. This was a great way to start out. I walked for a bit and then alternated running and walking for the first few miles. In the beginning I was suffering some pains in my left ankle but by about mile 5 the pain went away.
Mile 6 is about where I started shutting down mentally. The path I was on wasn't a great one and there was some off roading and while most of it was treed, as the sun came out and started beating down on the sidewalk the sweat began just pouring off me. Erik and I alternated water and gatorade and when I felt myself really dragging I had some energy water to boost me but it didn't work.
Around mile 7 or so my friend hurt his knee and had to go back. Erik and I kept going but at 8.14 miles I found myself back at my car for more water and really didn't want to finish. My friends encouraged me to not try to over do the plan and go 13.1 but to complete the 12 I was actually supposed to do today. So we took a bit of a break and then set out again. Now at 10am it was very hot. I mean VERY HOT. I could have cooked eggs on the sidewalk for the people driving by in their cars looking at us like we were idiots for running in this weather. By now I was NOT running. Not after 8.5 I don't think anyway. AND I was walking at a much slower speed than I should have been. My average pace was slipping away from me. Around mile 10 my right metatarsal (yup I learned something I science) was throbbing.
I never got my second wind that I usually get at some point. Around mile 10 I also noticed I was no longer sweating profusely. Not sure if this was due to dehydration, even though I was drinking a LOT, or maybe I was just not pushing myself to sweating limits. I kept us repeating the same section of path over and over as it was shaded. At times I felt like a vampire trying to avoid those patches where harsh sunlight would beat down on us.
The last couple miles were painful. Everything but my knees (woo hoo) hurt and hurt a lot. Again I wanted to quit. In the back of my head I kept thinking... when I get to 12, I'll get push myself to do that last mile but I couldn't. I was done. My body was rejecting me and I was really hating the start to my day. Whatever the accomplishment, it came as a huge price today. Thankfully I still have 2.5 more months to train but I'm also still not even halfway to the ultimate distance.
Our run ended. I wasn't happy I did it. I wasn't happy I was done. I was really only happy that my legs were not moving anymore. I did a lot of post running stretching, even at home. Meanwhile Erik went and rode his bike. My muscles were really seizing on me and my feet are really sore.
I guess running and training is different for everyone. For me, this just might kill me.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Defining Me
September 12, 2013
I think I have spent my life in search of myself. Finding who I am, who I want to be, who I will be and who I have been. I've switched jobs, moved around, embraced changed, taken on challenges, all with the purpose of self discovery. I do a lot of self reflection. In doing so I often find that there are things in my life or things about my life that I am not proud of, don't like, or don't want anymore.
There are very few instances in my life that I would go as far as to say I regret. Everything that I have lived through, been exposed to, have experienced or witnessed has made me who I am and quite frankly, I am usually pretty happy with being who I am. I've learned that that is what is most important to me. What I think. I used to really care about what others thought, but I don't anymore.
It used to really bother me if someone misunderstood me, didn't like me, misjudged me, heard bad things about me, or even campaigned against me. It doesn't anymore. I think what changed me is Erik. This little boy came into my life and has seen me in every raw emotion. He sees me laugh and cry and get mad and experience sorrow. He's seen me scared and seen me thrive. He's seen me challenge myself and watched me challenge others. He has been beside me during moments of frustration and has seen me at a vulnerable state that few ever see. He has also watched me break down in uncontrollable tears of joy over the simplest moments of happiness. This young boy has been there to see my heart in all its phases and he shows me I am good and loved and should I ever doubt myself, Erik gives me my own "mom look" and says "Mom, don't say that."
My own fears of peoples judgement over me left me letting people walk all over me, made me try to people please and led me to some of the most self destructive times in my life because I wan't being loyal to myself.
In a lot of ways I think being a mom is what best defines me. It is so much of the parts of my life that I strive to be successful at. I've worked hard at my jobs but being a good mom is the most important aspect of my life. Part of being a good mom means I need to be a good wife. I need to show Erik what it looks like to be a good wife and for him to see what it looks like to have parents that love him and love each other. He needs to know what it feels like to succeed at something hard and feel valued. It's important that he knows he has people he can turn to and be completely honest with. He needs to be taught that in our world of full disclosure, that there are some secrets known only to family. Part of my job as a mom is to lay the foundation that should have started years ago and wasn't. That foundation is what set the pace for the rest of Erik's life.
Even small children need to understand the different between right and wrong, good and bad, give and take, love and hate, joy and sorrow, work and play, friend and foe, and all the contradictions of life. Children raised from loving families from a young age see glimpses of these lessons starting at their earliest of memories. Erik didn't have much exposure to learning lifes lessons until he was about 7 and even then I think the task was difficult to control with the other children around all in the similar circumstances.
This experience of knowing what my child needs better than anyone else is this quintessential reason why I really don't care what anyone else thinks. Every parent will agree that upon becoming a parent they became flooded with advice, wanted or not, warranted or not. It is general practice that the parent will listen and then make the choice whether to do or not. It is also general practice that certain people expect that everything they say should be followed.
I regress. Back to defining me.
I have not been "successful" in a lot of aspects of my life. I haven't had the best of guidance or the greatest of preparation. I haven't had the best examples in front of me of what it takes to have a successful marriage, complete an education, or even having strong, loving family bonds. It may upset some people to read that, but it's true and those factors built me into the strong woman I am today. For that I will never be upset about my past. But it's also those things that left me feeling very lost, alone, scared, confused, unwanted, insecure, and like a failure. Feelings that I would do anything to shelter Erik from feeling again. These reflections make it clear to me that I am successful when it comes to being a good mom and knowing that, nothing else matters quite as much.
Love me, Hate me. Agree with me or don't. At the end of the day, this is ME and I'm okay with that.
Open and Honestly,
Jenn
I think I have spent my life in search of myself. Finding who I am, who I want to be, who I will be and who I have been. I've switched jobs, moved around, embraced changed, taken on challenges, all with the purpose of self discovery. I do a lot of self reflection. In doing so I often find that there are things in my life or things about my life that I am not proud of, don't like, or don't want anymore.
There are very few instances in my life that I would go as far as to say I regret. Everything that I have lived through, been exposed to, have experienced or witnessed has made me who I am and quite frankly, I am usually pretty happy with being who I am. I've learned that that is what is most important to me. What I think. I used to really care about what others thought, but I don't anymore.
It used to really bother me if someone misunderstood me, didn't like me, misjudged me, heard bad things about me, or even campaigned against me. It doesn't anymore. I think what changed me is Erik. This little boy came into my life and has seen me in every raw emotion. He sees me laugh and cry and get mad and experience sorrow. He's seen me scared and seen me thrive. He's seen me challenge myself and watched me challenge others. He has been beside me during moments of frustration and has seen me at a vulnerable state that few ever see. He has also watched me break down in uncontrollable tears of joy over the simplest moments of happiness. This young boy has been there to see my heart in all its phases and he shows me I am good and loved and should I ever doubt myself, Erik gives me my own "mom look" and says "Mom, don't say that."
My own fears of peoples judgement over me left me letting people walk all over me, made me try to people please and led me to some of the most self destructive times in my life because I wan't being loyal to myself.
In a lot of ways I think being a mom is what best defines me. It is so much of the parts of my life that I strive to be successful at. I've worked hard at my jobs but being a good mom is the most important aspect of my life. Part of being a good mom means I need to be a good wife. I need to show Erik what it looks like to be a good wife and for him to see what it looks like to have parents that love him and love each other. He needs to know what it feels like to succeed at something hard and feel valued. It's important that he knows he has people he can turn to and be completely honest with. He needs to be taught that in our world of full disclosure, that there are some secrets known only to family. Part of my job as a mom is to lay the foundation that should have started years ago and wasn't. That foundation is what set the pace for the rest of Erik's life.
Even small children need to understand the different between right and wrong, good and bad, give and take, love and hate, joy and sorrow, work and play, friend and foe, and all the contradictions of life. Children raised from loving families from a young age see glimpses of these lessons starting at their earliest of memories. Erik didn't have much exposure to learning lifes lessons until he was about 7 and even then I think the task was difficult to control with the other children around all in the similar circumstances.
This experience of knowing what my child needs better than anyone else is this quintessential reason why I really don't care what anyone else thinks. Every parent will agree that upon becoming a parent they became flooded with advice, wanted or not, warranted or not. It is general practice that the parent will listen and then make the choice whether to do or not. It is also general practice that certain people expect that everything they say should be followed.
I regress. Back to defining me.
I have not been "successful" in a lot of aspects of my life. I haven't had the best of guidance or the greatest of preparation. I haven't had the best examples in front of me of what it takes to have a successful marriage, complete an education, or even having strong, loving family bonds. It may upset some people to read that, but it's true and those factors built me into the strong woman I am today. For that I will never be upset about my past. But it's also those things that left me feeling very lost, alone, scared, confused, unwanted, insecure, and like a failure. Feelings that I would do anything to shelter Erik from feeling again. These reflections make it clear to me that I am successful when it comes to being a good mom and knowing that, nothing else matters quite as much.
Love me, Hate me. Agree with me or don't. At the end of the day, this is ME and I'm okay with that.
Open and Honestly,
Jenn
Sunday, September 8, 2013
That Was Easy!
September 8, 2013
I know I am going to second guess that title next week but as for now... it's true!
Yesterday I went for my "long" run but it's a down week (meaning next week will really kick my butt with 12 miles) and I was only scheduled for 7 miles. I grabbed a friend training for a half marathon in November and took her on her longest run to date... or well, walk. The miles were quite a bit slower than my normal with an average pace of 16.5 and only 1 running segment. I felt great throughout the whole thing. The first couple miles were just 2 good friends chatting about life and then we put in music and off we went. Of course I was sweating, but at no point did my mind jump to the comfy zone I live in where I can't wait to get to the end. My legs never wanted to fall off and then trail behind me kicking me.
Afterwards I had no pain and didn't need a nap or days to recover. That's just crazy.
Next week, however, scares me a bit. I like the down week but now jumping up to 12 is crazy plus I am going to need to step things up a bit soon so that I shoot a little past the highest mile being 20 miles prior to marathon day. Adding 6.2 miles more than I've ever done before is a little to risky for me. I'd like to do 23 or 24 miles for my longest pre-race run.
What's hard is that I am now at a mileage that is really too high for a 10 year old to run. I mean, we aren't running, mostly just walking fast. When it comes to walking, there are virtually no studies that say there is anything against his going, but only if he wants to. Erik will have to determine if he wants to continue to join me. He is such a great motivator to keep me going and it is great bonding time that I am going to really miss him. It's been very difficult for me to imagine him not with me during the marathon so I guess this goes along with the whole "nothing new on race day" philosophy.
So, lately I've really only blogged about training but in reality tons of stuff has been going on including I had a great deal of medical tests done. Since the week of my birthday in March, I have been experiencing frequent migraines, nausea, heart palpitations, chest pains and like an elephant has been sitting on my chest. Some of these symptoms are only when running which is why I needed to go and get checked out before running a marathon. It's been a pretty scary time. In addition I was dealing with situations at work that just became more than I could take and I decided to quit. This week I went back to my doctor to go over all the results from the past 6 weeks of medical tests and found out that everything is good. No heart damage. No Angina. No lung problems. He said that whatever is wrong is NOT Heart or Lung related.
That being said since August 23rd,my last day of work, I haven't had any migraines or any of the other problems... INCLUDING when I am out running. My doctor is convinced that since this job started in February and the issues started in March, then everything stopped when I quit, that my job was the culprit responsible. It's insane that a job can literally have that big of an effect. In any case I now have a clean bill of health and I felt great during and after my walk yesterday.
I also got a new job which will allow me to work from home starting next week. It's not a travel job, but its customer service. The pay isn't great but being able to work from home saves a lot of money in work clothes, lunches, gas, etc and I will be home when Erik comes home from school! It's a huge perk of the job.
We have had a huge learning curve since Erik came here. We meaning Paul and I as parents, as well as Erik. We are all learning about each other, how to do things differently now and how to identify things that need to change to be better. Me working at home is going to help with the juggling of so many new things for our family which is still under a year old. Every day is a new day to wake up, make mistakes, and go to bed. LOL. Most parents get to figure this part out without school and homework but we didn't have that luxury. Our luxury, however, is Erik. And no one else has an Erik!
Stay tuned until next time.
I know I am going to second guess that title next week but as for now... it's true!
Yesterday I went for my "long" run but it's a down week (meaning next week will really kick my butt with 12 miles) and I was only scheduled for 7 miles. I grabbed a friend training for a half marathon in November and took her on her longest run to date... or well, walk. The miles were quite a bit slower than my normal with an average pace of 16.5 and only 1 running segment. I felt great throughout the whole thing. The first couple miles were just 2 good friends chatting about life and then we put in music and off we went. Of course I was sweating, but at no point did my mind jump to the comfy zone I live in where I can't wait to get to the end. My legs never wanted to fall off and then trail behind me kicking me.
Afterwards I had no pain and didn't need a nap or days to recover. That's just crazy.
Next week, however, scares me a bit. I like the down week but now jumping up to 12 is crazy plus I am going to need to step things up a bit soon so that I shoot a little past the highest mile being 20 miles prior to marathon day. Adding 6.2 miles more than I've ever done before is a little to risky for me. I'd like to do 23 or 24 miles for my longest pre-race run.
What's hard is that I am now at a mileage that is really too high for a 10 year old to run. I mean, we aren't running, mostly just walking fast. When it comes to walking, there are virtually no studies that say there is anything against his going, but only if he wants to. Erik will have to determine if he wants to continue to join me. He is such a great motivator to keep me going and it is great bonding time that I am going to really miss him. It's been very difficult for me to imagine him not with me during the marathon so I guess this goes along with the whole "nothing new on race day" philosophy.
So, lately I've really only blogged about training but in reality tons of stuff has been going on including I had a great deal of medical tests done. Since the week of my birthday in March, I have been experiencing frequent migraines, nausea, heart palpitations, chest pains and like an elephant has been sitting on my chest. Some of these symptoms are only when running which is why I needed to go and get checked out before running a marathon. It's been a pretty scary time. In addition I was dealing with situations at work that just became more than I could take and I decided to quit. This week I went back to my doctor to go over all the results from the past 6 weeks of medical tests and found out that everything is good. No heart damage. No Angina. No lung problems. He said that whatever is wrong is NOT Heart or Lung related.
That being said since August 23rd,my last day of work, I haven't had any migraines or any of the other problems... INCLUDING when I am out running. My doctor is convinced that since this job started in February and the issues started in March, then everything stopped when I quit, that my job was the culprit responsible. It's insane that a job can literally have that big of an effect. In any case I now have a clean bill of health and I felt great during and after my walk yesterday.
I also got a new job which will allow me to work from home starting next week. It's not a travel job, but its customer service. The pay isn't great but being able to work from home saves a lot of money in work clothes, lunches, gas, etc and I will be home when Erik comes home from school! It's a huge perk of the job.
We have had a huge learning curve since Erik came here. We meaning Paul and I as parents, as well as Erik. We are all learning about each other, how to do things differently now and how to identify things that need to change to be better. Me working at home is going to help with the juggling of so many new things for our family which is still under a year old. Every day is a new day to wake up, make mistakes, and go to bed. LOL. Most parents get to figure this part out without school and homework but we didn't have that luxury. Our luxury, however, is Erik. And no one else has an Erik!
Stay tuned until next time.
Labels:
adoption,
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bringyarikhome.com,
determination,
family,
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running,
space coast marathon,
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Thursday, September 5, 2013
Running with a Purpose
September 5, 2013
So if you haven't learned this yet from knowing me or reading my blog, let me make sure this is clear... no blurred lines... no lack of clarity...
I Hate Running. (Even if by running, I am actually speed walking) I in no way disrespect those that DO LOVE running, but I am not one of you and often can't understand you.
No I do not get runners high.
No I do not find it relaxing.
No I do not enjoy breathing in the fresh air of nature. Well I do... just not while running.
Maybe one day I will, but as of now... I stand by the fact that I am doing it. And Yes, I am running a marathon (or speed walking... lets not mince words here).
So why do it? Well I guess, the answer is probably deeper that the old "Why not?" First of all I have always held such a huge respect for distance runners and especially those that can complete marathons. The amount of dedication it takes to train, the self motivation, the endurance... it's amazing. I want to fall into that group of people whom I hold such great respect for. I mean really, there are so many things that I would LOVE to do but really just don't have the opportunity to. I remember an old episode of Friends where Monica had her identity stolen by a woman who took chances. She got her to audition for Cats on Broadway and walk into a drop in dance class... those are things that are not available to me here... at least not that I know of, but marathons are available to everyone. Why would I deny myself the chance to fulfill my own idea of greatness. And the fact that I am doing it, being something I hate, makes me that much more proud of myself.
Another reason is because... well, I can. I have two legs. They move freely. Currently they may not be that strong but through training they are getting stronger. God has given me two functioning legs and completing a marathon means I am going to take these gifts from God and move them one in front of the other for 26.2 miles. I'm sure there are many people out there who would give anything for the chance, but their chance was taken from them. For those people, I will complete this for you. Especially those who chance was taken while trying to complete the Boston Marathon earlier this year.
Thirdly I run for my son, Erik. As I previously explained in a blog, Erik is struggling in school. It's hard. He doesn't want to go. He would rather just not do it because thats the easy way out. He would rather run. I am showing him that some things are easier for some people than others. Running is easy for him, but not for me. Just like he needs to keep practicing to get good at his homework, I need to keep practicing to get good at my running. His report card will be his prize and my medal will be mine.
Lastly, I want to make this marathon really mean something. I mean, it means something to me and hopefully it will mean something to Erik. Maybe it might mean a little something to people who know about my story. But when December 1 comes around and that 11th, 12th, 16th, 18th, 22nd, 24th miles come along and I hurt and I want to stop and give up, what is going to motivate me? What will push me? What will remind me that this is bigger than me and my goals and lessons for my son through actions? I have decided to dedicate each mile to someone or a group. During that Mile I will pray for that person/group to motivate me and get me out of my own head, thinking about myself, and instead thinking of someone in need of prayer. Several slots have been filled by people in my circle of friends. I've dedicated a mile to my husband's cousin battling breast cancer at a young age and newly married. I've dedicated a mile to the orphanage Erik came from and all the orphans around the world that need families. Since I hope to complete a 15 minute pace, I am dedicating the 15th mile to the Boston Marathon Victims as this will be at about the 4 hour mark when the bombs went off on that fateful day.
So I ask you, if you would like to be considered for one of my miles or know someone else that should be, share the story with me. As we get closer to race day I will post the actual mile dedication chart so that everyone will know what I am praying about during each stage of the race.
This isn't easy for me. Don't get this twisted. I am finding myself in more pain on a regular basis these days. This will require more out of me physically than anything I have ever done before. I will be pushing my body for a straight 7 hours. In fact I will probably be at mile 7 when the 1st place competitor crosses the finish line. I will only be at about the halfway mark when the awards are given, and by the time I cross the finish line there will likely be very few spectators. With there being a time limit and only 2,000 people eligible to complete the full marathon, which filled up back in July, most runners have done this before and more than once... so I might even be the last person to cross the finish line. I am determined to not get picked up by the bus. I will finish. Even if I am last. And whatever my time is, I will be proud of that time because I will at that time have become a Marathon Completer and no one at any time can ever take that away. I've already bought a T shirt that says "I just completed my first marathon" and another that says "the pain is temporary, the pride is forever". No matter the pain, or the hatred for training for the sport, come that day, across that line, I will be filled with a joy that can only come from completing something I always wanted to do, but never really thought I could.
I encourage anyone if there is a star out there that is within your ability to reach, Go Reach It! Name It! and then go do it again!
~Future Marathon Finisher,
Jenn
So if you haven't learned this yet from knowing me or reading my blog, let me make sure this is clear... no blurred lines... no lack of clarity...
I Hate Running. (Even if by running, I am actually speed walking) I in no way disrespect those that DO LOVE running, but I am not one of you and often can't understand you.
No I do not get runners high.
No I do not find it relaxing.
No I do not enjoy breathing in the fresh air of nature. Well I do... just not while running.
Maybe one day I will, but as of now... I stand by the fact that I am doing it. And Yes, I am running a marathon (or speed walking... lets not mince words here).
So why do it? Well I guess, the answer is probably deeper that the old "Why not?" First of all I have always held such a huge respect for distance runners and especially those that can complete marathons. The amount of dedication it takes to train, the self motivation, the endurance... it's amazing. I want to fall into that group of people whom I hold such great respect for. I mean really, there are so many things that I would LOVE to do but really just don't have the opportunity to. I remember an old episode of Friends where Monica had her identity stolen by a woman who took chances. She got her to audition for Cats on Broadway and walk into a drop in dance class... those are things that are not available to me here... at least not that I know of, but marathons are available to everyone. Why would I deny myself the chance to fulfill my own idea of greatness. And the fact that I am doing it, being something I hate, makes me that much more proud of myself.
Another reason is because... well, I can. I have two legs. They move freely. Currently they may not be that strong but through training they are getting stronger. God has given me two functioning legs and completing a marathon means I am going to take these gifts from God and move them one in front of the other for 26.2 miles. I'm sure there are many people out there who would give anything for the chance, but their chance was taken from them. For those people, I will complete this for you. Especially those who chance was taken while trying to complete the Boston Marathon earlier this year.
Thirdly I run for my son, Erik. As I previously explained in a blog, Erik is struggling in school. It's hard. He doesn't want to go. He would rather just not do it because thats the easy way out. He would rather run. I am showing him that some things are easier for some people than others. Running is easy for him, but not for me. Just like he needs to keep practicing to get good at his homework, I need to keep practicing to get good at my running. His report card will be his prize and my medal will be mine.
Lastly, I want to make this marathon really mean something. I mean, it means something to me and hopefully it will mean something to Erik. Maybe it might mean a little something to people who know about my story. But when December 1 comes around and that 11th, 12th, 16th, 18th, 22nd, 24th miles come along and I hurt and I want to stop and give up, what is going to motivate me? What will push me? What will remind me that this is bigger than me and my goals and lessons for my son through actions? I have decided to dedicate each mile to someone or a group. During that Mile I will pray for that person/group to motivate me and get me out of my own head, thinking about myself, and instead thinking of someone in need of prayer. Several slots have been filled by people in my circle of friends. I've dedicated a mile to my husband's cousin battling breast cancer at a young age and newly married. I've dedicated a mile to the orphanage Erik came from and all the orphans around the world that need families. Since I hope to complete a 15 minute pace, I am dedicating the 15th mile to the Boston Marathon Victims as this will be at about the 4 hour mark when the bombs went off on that fateful day.
So I ask you, if you would like to be considered for one of my miles or know someone else that should be, share the story with me. As we get closer to race day I will post the actual mile dedication chart so that everyone will know what I am praying about during each stage of the race.
This isn't easy for me. Don't get this twisted. I am finding myself in more pain on a regular basis these days. This will require more out of me physically than anything I have ever done before. I will be pushing my body for a straight 7 hours. In fact I will probably be at mile 7 when the 1st place competitor crosses the finish line. I will only be at about the halfway mark when the awards are given, and by the time I cross the finish line there will likely be very few spectators. With there being a time limit and only 2,000 people eligible to complete the full marathon, which filled up back in July, most runners have done this before and more than once... so I might even be the last person to cross the finish line. I am determined to not get picked up by the bus. I will finish. Even if I am last. And whatever my time is, I will be proud of that time because I will at that time have become a Marathon Completer and no one at any time can ever take that away. I've already bought a T shirt that says "I just completed my first marathon" and another that says "the pain is temporary, the pride is forever". No matter the pain, or the hatred for training for the sport, come that day, across that line, I will be filled with a joy that can only come from completing something I always wanted to do, but never really thought I could.
I encourage anyone if there is a star out there that is within your ability to reach, Go Reach It! Name It! and then go do it again!
~Future Marathon Finisher,
Jenn
Labels:
adoption,
Boston Marathon,
bring yarik home,
bringyarikhome.com,
determination,
family,
first marathon,
goals,
inspire,
live,
marathon,
mom and son,
running,
space coast marathon,
teach,
ukraine,
victims
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Perfect 10
August 31, 2013
Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Top Oh The Morning to Ya! and Whatever else might work to get you out of bed, into your running shoes and hitting the pavement. Those words weren't enough? Don't worry, they wouldn't have been enough for me either!
Paying almost $100 to agree to run in a guaranteed to be painful race that, if I'm not fast enough I won't even GET to finish OR get the bling... or the bragging rights... NOW THAT'S MOTIVATION TO TRAIN!
It's really amazing how quickly my body has managed to recover from the beating I give it each week. I haven't felt so regularly pain filled since I was in High School doing color guard practice 5 days a week with games on Friday nights and sometimes competitions on weekends. We were always stretching, moving, pushing our bodies to the limits, taking chances, building our muscles to propel our talents forward... hitting ourselves with the occasional piece of equipment. I was in pain every second of every day and I LOVED it! It was Good Pain, not Bad Pain. It was the pain that came from knowing my body was getting stronger.
I feel like that again. Except with running, I'm not even close to be one of the greats or striving to be the best. I am striving to be Okay. To finish. To not give up.
After just a few more than a few weeks off the couch, I was able to get up and walk 10 miles. That in itself may or may not seem impressive BUT I did do in in under a 16 minute average pace. I only did one short interval run but decided the walking was much better as I was already feeling the pain in my hips. In the end, 10 miles was 10 miles no matter how I made it there and of course my 10 year old kiddo did it with me!
What made it extra tough today was that music is such an incredible motivator... or demotivator. I bought a new MP3 player because my ipod kept giving me issues and not doing what I wanted it to and I hate iTunes so I went with another highly recommended brand. Evidently my files were in the wrong format so while it showed them listed on my player, only the same six songs played over and over... plus the crappy 5-6 that come auto loaded on the player. Thankfully my songs were good ones that kept me going:
Katy Perry - Roar
Katy Perry - Firework
Avril Lavigne - Here's to never growing up
Great Big Sea - Donkey Riding
Mylie Cyrus - Party in the USA
Jennifer Lopez - Lets get Loud
I spent at least a combined few minutes trying to figure out what was going on and trying to get it functioning and fast forwarding through the auto loaded songs every time they came up. This is why they say, nothing new on race day!
I am looking for people to pray for while I run. Dedicating each mile for someone with a big prayer request. Something to keep my mind off my pain and onto someone else's. If you know someone or if you have one, leave me a message, I'll blog more about this later.
Here's the post run Recap:
Enjoy
Jenn in Action
Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Top Oh The Morning to Ya! and Whatever else might work to get you out of bed, into your running shoes and hitting the pavement. Those words weren't enough? Don't worry, they wouldn't have been enough for me either!
Paying almost $100 to agree to run in a guaranteed to be painful race that, if I'm not fast enough I won't even GET to finish OR get the bling... or the bragging rights... NOW THAT'S MOTIVATION TO TRAIN!
It's really amazing how quickly my body has managed to recover from the beating I give it each week. I haven't felt so regularly pain filled since I was in High School doing color guard practice 5 days a week with games on Friday nights and sometimes competitions on weekends. We were always stretching, moving, pushing our bodies to the limits, taking chances, building our muscles to propel our talents forward... hitting ourselves with the occasional piece of equipment. I was in pain every second of every day and I LOVED it! It was Good Pain, not Bad Pain. It was the pain that came from knowing my body was getting stronger.
I feel like that again. Except with running, I'm not even close to be one of the greats or striving to be the best. I am striving to be Okay. To finish. To not give up.
After just a few more than a few weeks off the couch, I was able to get up and walk 10 miles. That in itself may or may not seem impressive BUT I did do in in under a 16 minute average pace. I only did one short interval run but decided the walking was much better as I was already feeling the pain in my hips. In the end, 10 miles was 10 miles no matter how I made it there and of course my 10 year old kiddo did it with me!
What made it extra tough today was that music is such an incredible motivator... or demotivator. I bought a new MP3 player because my ipod kept giving me issues and not doing what I wanted it to and I hate iTunes so I went with another highly recommended brand. Evidently my files were in the wrong format so while it showed them listed on my player, only the same six songs played over and over... plus the crappy 5-6 that come auto loaded on the player. Thankfully my songs were good ones that kept me going:
Katy Perry - Roar
Katy Perry - Firework
Avril Lavigne - Here's to never growing up
Great Big Sea - Donkey Riding
Mylie Cyrus - Party in the USA
Jennifer Lopez - Lets get Loud
I spent at least a combined few minutes trying to figure out what was going on and trying to get it functioning and fast forwarding through the auto loaded songs every time they came up. This is why they say, nothing new on race day!
I am looking for people to pray for while I run. Dedicating each mile for someone with a big prayer request. Something to keep my mind off my pain and onto someone else's. If you know someone or if you have one, leave me a message, I'll blog more about this later.
Here's the post run Recap:
Enjoy
Jenn in Action
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